When it comes to creating lasting change, many people focus on what they need to stop doing—cutting out junk food, quitting bad habits, or avoiding certain behaviors. But this approach often backfires. Why?
Because when we focus on what we can’t have, that’s all we think about.
Think about it: If I tell you “Don’t look down,” what’s the first thing you’ll do? You’ll look down. If I say, “Stop eating chips,” suddenly, all you can think about are chips. This mindset makes change feel restrictive, frustrating, and unsustainable.
Instead, I believe in focusing on positive habit creation—adding in good habits rather than fixating on removing bad ones. When we build positive habits, they naturally begin to crowd out the negative ones.
Why Positive Habits Work Better Than Restriction
When we emphasize positive habits, we create a success cycle—a mindset where we see progress, feel capable, and start believing we can become the person we want to be.
On the other hand, when we focus too much on what we need to stop doing, we feel deprived. It’s easy to feel like we’re failing, which can be discouraging and lead to giving up altogether.
For example, let’s say someone struggles with eating too many chips or sweets. If I tell them “Stop eating chips,” their cravings will likely increase because that’s all they’ll think about. But if instead, we focus on adding in nutrient-dense foods—lean proteins, smart carbs, veggies, healthy fats and drinking more water—they’ll feel more satisfied, have fewer cravings, and naturally eat fewer chips without forcing it.
This shift in focus makes the process easier and more enjoyable.
Building a Healthy Relationship with Food (or Any Habit)
The key isn’t about completely eliminating things you enjoy—it’s about finding a healthy balance. Instead of saying, “I can never have sweets again,” it’s more effective to say, “I’m going to prioritize nourishing foods that support my goals, and I’ll enjoy sweets in moderation when I truly want them.”
This mindset applies to any habit change—whether it’s improving your diet, exercising more, or even building better sleep habits.
✔ Focus on what you can add, not what you need to remove.
✔ Make small, sustainable changes that feel good, not restrictive.
✔ Create a cycle of success that reinforces your ability to grow and improve.
Over time, the positive habits you build will naturally replace the ones that don’t support your goals, without feeling like a constant battle.
Final Thoughts
Lasting change isn’t about willpower or deprivation—it’s about shifting your focus. When you focus on adding good habits, you naturally start letting go of the ones that don’t serve you.
So instead of asking, “What do I need to cut out?” try asking, “What positive habits can I add today?”
That small shift in perspective can make all the difference.
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